National Domestic Violence Awareness Project

This year, we are asking staff and friends of the #NRCDV to commit to starting conversations with the teens in their lives! It’s Time to Talk Day – February 4th, 2014 – is an annual awareness day designed to generate new conversations about healthy relationships and prevent teen dating violence and abuse. Read on about Ivonne’s conversation with 2 of her 3 children:

Ivonne invited her children to Skype with her. She asked some open-ended questions:

• Do you know what a healthy relationship looks like?
• What are the main differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships?
• What should a healthy relationship look like?

Here we go again, Mom. At first, there was resistance. But Ivonne pressed and eventually they were talking to each other and the ideas were flowing.

Ivonne was impressed by how much they knew about healthy relationships, but something surprised her: As integrated as technology is in their lives, they didn’t realize that technology can be used as a means of controlling someone. They weren’t aware of the ways in which a boyfriend or girlfriend could use their phone or social media connections to intentionally harm – and how common technology abuse is.

Ivonne’s kids reflected on the conversation. They cautioned that teens tend to brush off their parents’ advice simply because they are their parents and they hear “advice” from them ad nauseam. They noted that these messages would be better received by other adults in their lives – safe adults who could field questions that may come up from time to time, especially when it comes to warning signs of dangerous or unhealthy relationships. 

For now, Ivonne’s children have a heightened awareness of the ways in which people use, and misuse, technology. They intend to bring this awareness to the decisions they make going forward, and they now have a set of red flags to call on should a dangerous situation arise.

Sometimes here we go again can lead to a small shift in understanding that someday, we hope, will lead to better choices and healthier directions.