Leslie Morgan Steiner - Why Domestic Violence Victims Don’t Leave
I’m not a huge TED Talk fan, but I love this - she shines a light on domestic violence that I don’t think many have heard before.
Such an informative video. Leaving an abusive relationship a far more complex task than most people realize. There are a lot of reasons people stay.
Suppose a man makes unwanted social advances to a woman in, let’s say, a restaurant or theatre, and she eventually has to tell him loudly or angrily to get lost. She is the one who will be perceived as rude, hostile, aggressive, and obnoxious. His verbal aggression and invasiveness are accepted and expected; her rudeness (or mere curtness) in getting rid of him is noticed and condemned. One of our great myths is that a “real lady” can and should handle any difficulty, defuse any assault, without ever raising her voice or losing her manners. Female rudeness or violence in resistance to male aggression has often been taken to prove that the woman was not a lady in the first place, and therefore deserved no respect from the aggressor or sympathy from others.
Women are afraid of meeting a serial killer. Men are afraid of meeting someone fat.
When Strangers Click, a 2011 documentary about online dating.
It reminds me of that famous Margaret Atwood quote: “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.” It also reminds me of something written by one of the mods of Sex Worker Problems: “Misandry irritates. Misogyny kills.”
I mean, it’s just true.
Edited to add: The quote from the documentary is referring to heterosexual men who meet women through online dating, and vice versa. And the “it’s just true” comment is referring to the quotes from Margaret Atwood and SWP.
… the socialization of boys regarding masculinity is often at the expense of women. I came to realize that we don’t raise boys to be men, we raise them not to be women (or gay men). We teach boys that girls and women are “less than” and that leads to violence by some and silence by many. It’s important for men to stand up to not only stop men’s violence against women but, to teach young men a broader definition of masculinity that includes being empathetic, loving and non-violent.
Abusive relationships don’t usually start off that way. Usually it’s a gradual process that begins with some of these warning signs. How would you know if your relationship is becoming unhealthy?
To see if your relationship is healthy, take the “Healthy Relationship Quiz” at http://www.loveisrespect.org/
Artwork by Antonia Leto, a Marin Against Youth Abuse (MAYA) Committee member.
For the last big part of my capstone, I arranged to cook ten individual frozen meals to donate to the Rutland Women’s Shelter. I chose to do this because while I was working there, I noticed how fast we ran through the frozen microwavable meals from the food shelf, and how much our clients loved…
Learn more at VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN: social justice campaign: a senior capstone project.
This is a such a great idea and a very enlightening project. Learn more about the food-related needs of domestic violence shelters providing support to survivors and their children, read Domestic Violence & the Holidays: What’s Cooking?
A raw, emotion-packed “Dirty Laundry” finally gives us the real Kelly Rowland, who confesses to hiding years of mental and physical abuse.
Be kind to everyone, you never know what a person may be going through.