Q:Hey. I was in a short but emotionally tumultuous relationship with a close friend this past winter. We loved each other deeply but his bipolar disorder made him really hard to be with, and I was severely depressed. After a long and drawn out break up, we didn't speak for several months. We began talking again recently and he seems much improved, and he understands and admits to his mistakes. The love is still there. Is bad to consider exploring the relationship one more time?
It can be really hard to decide whether to give a tumultuous relationship a second chance; there was so much love there, but also so much pain. The first step is to determine what was at the root of the problem and then ask yourself “has this problem truly been fixed in a lasting and healthy way?” Here’s a really good checklist to go over before you make your decision: Should We Get Back Together?
If the trouble was stemming from your partner’s bipolar disorder, then it’s important that he take responsibility for that and create a solid plan for how he’s going to keep that from negatively affecting the relationship in the future. For example, is he seeing a therapist or taking mediation now?
It’s also possible that there were other factors besides his bipolar disorder that contributed to the problem as well. If there were, it’s important that you both know what they were so you can act accordingly. Abusive behavior can often go unrecognized in a relationship, masked as another issue such as anger management or mental illness. While they sometimes go hand-in-hand, they aren’t the same, and they should always be approached and treated differently.
We encourage you to keep an eye out for these red flags for unhealthy and abusive behavior. You can also use this quiz to see where your relationship falls on the relationship spectrum. Any red flags that you’re concerned about? Chat, text, or talk with a peer advocate today. We’re available 24/7 and would love to talk with you!
Here’s a list of awesome queer stuff that’s happened lately, beginning with the fall of the Defense of Marriage Act.
1. DOMA is done.
On June 26, 2013, a key part of the Defense of Marriage Act was struck down in a 5-4 Supreme Court ruling, making the federal ban on same-sex marriage…
The Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) Prevention Council envisions a future in which a wide network of collaborative and sustained primary prevention efforts lead to the social change necessary to end intimate partner violence.
The PreventIPV project provides an opportunity to create and sustain a unified national prevention effort by promoting strategies, tools and lessons learned by state/territory and community-based prevention programs across the United States.
You are invited to explore and engage in the the newly launched PreventIPV.org online space, offering peer-driven resources and tools to support your prevention work.
Essentials for Parenting Toddlers and Preschoolers is a new free online resource developed by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Designed for parents of 2 to 4 year olds, Essentials for Parenting addresses common parenting challenges and offers proven strategies like positive communication, structure and rules, clear directions, and consistent discipline and consequences.
Essentials for Parenting offers tools for parents to build safe, stable, and nurturing relationships with their young children. Learn more.